Listen, travelers of Middle-Earth, for I shall reveal the tale of the Sleeveless Tank of Comfort.... maximum wooden axe proficiency. That's it. That's the secret. None of that "threads of the Shire's most sumptuous cotton, imbued with the sp-" no, it's just so that Foxtra can use his wooden axe. 

As soft as the gentle touch o- NO. Ok ok... what about "Soft as the brush of a fox's fur, this sleeveless tank beckons with comfort so inviting, one cannot resist its embrace. Whether lounging upon your couch, strolling through the meadows, or finding solace in the tranquility of a yoga class, this garment becomes your steadfast companion, a testament to the laid-back essence of urban life."

I wish this could be World Edited out, anyhow, it seems like the higher ups are making me add some more flavour text because wooden axe proficiency doesn't sell...
 
In the relaxed fit of this shirt, one can discern the echoes of a simpler time, a time when the burdens of the One Ring had yet to weigh upon the shoulders of Middle-earth's inhabitants. Side-seamed construction weaves the narrative of peaceful landscapes, from the tranquil shores of Lake Evendim to the bustling markets of Bree and the storied lands of Yayrdar.
 
But behold, noble wearer, for there is more than meets the eye upon this garment of tranquility. Its wide, low-cut armholes offer freedom of movement akin to the nimbleness of an elf upon the woodland paths of Mirkwood, or the grace of a ranger traversing the hills of the North. (This is what I've been saying the whole time come on..)
 
Remember, as you don this tank woven from threads of comfort and relaxation, it is not merely fabric that adorns your frame, but a story of respite and rejuvenation amidst the trials of our age. Each tank, crafted to order, serves as a reminder of the importance of thoughtful choices in a world besieged by overproduction.
 
So, let this garment be a tribute to the serenity of Middle-earth, and to the moments of peace found amidst the chaos of our journeys. Let us tread lightly upon our paths, mindful of the simple joys that enrich our lives and bind us together as one fellowship.
 
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