Ban Appeal
IGN: StaloneRanger, HahaToob, Abdul_Jamaica,
Nick: Urdal_OrcSlayer
Faction: blue mountains
Reason for ban: I told my friend to kill himself in a voice chat during a siege (last straw), general disrespect to players and staff, and just being a stain upon the community
Time banned for: ever
Date banned: 01/16/2022
Reason for appeal: I miss it
I was banned for saying "kys" to my friend in a voice chat. However, there was much more to it than that. It was the straw that broke the camels back. I impulsively said things without thinking about how they would affect others and I acted like they were being sensitive about it, some things I said were me trying to be funny, which failed miserably and ended up just hurting people. Additionally, I would say things that were funny to my group of friends, but at the expense of others, sometimes even in the same call as them. This didn't just happen to players, but to staff as well. I have no excuse for how I acted and I'm so ashamed of myself to a point where I went to go read previous messages to get more context to my ban, and seeing the stuff I said genuinely made me cringe, I acted like a 7th grader who just learned how to swear and I was in my 20s.After my first ban, I sent a lot of hateful messages to people I had grudges against, because I didn't think I'd be coming back. On my second ban, I didn't go to that extreme, but I still burned bridges for the same reason and I clearly didn't learn anything because here I am yet again asking for forgiveness. I apologize for wasting the staff's time on my last appeal as it was pretty pathetic and I hadn't sat down to think about all the things that lead up to my ban. I sent venomous messages to people expecting to never hear from them again and said things I can't comprehend myself saying today. I was a mean, angry and hateful bully lashing out at anyone that I thought I could hurt. I acknowledge this, and I attempted to apologize to those I sent messages to however I'm blocked (understandably).
Because of how I acted after my first ban I am ashamed, I moved on with my life, away from here and I burned bridges on the way, again shamefully. I fully regret the things that I did and it was stupid of me to do something like that to a server and community that I've spent 1/3rd of my life playing. For the things I did before and after my ban(s) I am so incredibly sorry to everyone I ever hurt on this server, or outside of it, all because of some pixels on a screen. I have learned from my mistakes and have grown enough as a person to know what is inexcusable. I'm almost 30 now, and like I've said in the past I only want to reminisce, and maybe play occasionally as a time killer. I don't have the time to put in the effort I had in the past, which means it will take longer for me to earn the trust and respect of the community again. I am prepared to work towards that, but it's not easy watching from the sidelines. That's why I am appealing my ban. The amount of hours I've spent on this server tells a story of how much I really did enjoy it, not for the gameplay but for the people, I made more friends on this server than I ever did in college and I want to be a part of this incredible community again so I may have the opportunity to make more. Any grudges I held towards players in the past are remaining in the past, not because they're no longer playing, but because it's simply childish to hold a grudge against someone based on how they got along with me on a lord of the rings modded minecraft server.
I'm aware this isn't just asking for forgiveness to the staff team, but to the community itself as well, and while I spent a long time building a reputation with this community, I did enough damage to make everyone forget the good that I did and only remember the bad and I take complete responsibility for this. As of right now I know I'm looked down upon based on my actions, and there was once a time where I was looked up upon. I don't ever expect to reach that again, however I do intend to right my wrongs and mend things with all those whose lives and experiences on this server I've made worse with my actions. At the very least I would like to redeem myself in that sense, where instead of having -10,000 alignment with the community, I can at least have 0. (stupid joke) It will take a long time and I'm happy to take that time to do that, but as I said previously it's a LOT of damage I have to undo so I don't expect any forgiveness from anyone for a while. Additionally I have re-listed my TOR videos playlist which includes all TOR favorites vids and additional miscellaneous videos I created while on this server. I truly miss those times and I wish to re-create more in the future.At the very least, I would like to make a promise to the community and the staff of TOR: I promise I will be an asset to the community, not a liability. I will leave the person I once was in the past where he belongs, I will work to make the community a better place instead of worse off, and I will prove to TOR that I am not what I once was.