Before getting into the main part of this appeal, I’d like to thank everyone who takes the time to read it. I am aware that I’ve taken advantage of the trust that some of you have instilled in me, and for that, I am truly sorry. While I want to keep this as short as possible, there is a lot to go over. I will go over the events leading up to my ban while remaining 100% transparent, In hopes that this trust I speak of can begin to be rebuilt.
Now, to begin I’d like to discuss what I believe to be the first step towards the events that eventually led to my punishment on TOR, which was when I killed FlyingFish and took the Mace of Sauron, this happened shortly after I came back to TOR after taking a break, unfortunately, I can’t remember how long this break was but it was long enough for Evan and Asher to go from being enemies to allies/friends, after killing FlyingFish I told Asher, he then told Evan this led to the formation of our little group. After getting the Mace of Sauron Evan and Asher began investing in me as they now saw me as a competent pvper. The two would frequently give me major sums of coins and gear which as we all know was duped using a scrap trader. The truth is that at the very beginning of these donations at the hands of Evan and Asher I was unaware of its source, however, that did not last long at all and I was shortly made aware of its malignant origin. Shortly after my reunion with the two The scrap trader was discovered, which led to me finding myself on a call with Phoenix and Fin, in this call I was asked if I knew of the scrap trader, and I lied, this lie could not be checked due to me having never used the scrap trader first hand. I’m aware that I was backed up by people who put their faith in me, I’m aware that I took that faith for granted and made remarks such as “it's just Minecraft” and I am so sorry I was insecure about the people I chose to affiliate with and to save myself from the guilt I belittled connections I made with people on TOR.
The next thing I will cover is what happened after Evantial and Asher got banned. Right after they were banned I joined a call with Asher where he asked me questions such as what did you tell them etc, he also began asking me about possible stashes mentioning one in Lothlorien. Since I had not been banned yet due to my lie he asked me to grow closer with the staff team in hopes that one day I would be able to gain access to these stashes, allowing him to collect them on an alt. This began what was my genuine unsureness, part of me genuinely wanted to stay connected with TOR and kinda cut ties with Asher and Evan ( I periodically touch base with Asher, I do not want to make it seem like I have nothing to do with him ), however another side of me wanted to join them and hurt TOR, I acted in ways that favored these two conflicting sides, I helped Asher and I tried to help TOR at times.
This insecurity surrounding which side to choose came to an end when Asher told me of what he had been working on, which was to take over TOR and run it ourselves. This was possible due to Asher’s dad being the host of TOR at the time, after hearing about this I completely destroyed my ties with the TOR player base and staff team in favor of this coup. After a couple of weeks of planning which was mainly between Asher and Evan, they shut down TOR they did this by compiling examples of complaints made against Phoenix and showing them to AJ (HOST) he then took our side, and using his basically unlimited access as host shut down the server. Right after the shutting down of TOR, I came clean in the most childish way possible I sent some cringe message in the TOR discord essentially bragging about how I had taken advantage of genuinely kind people. What followed was immediate regret as I saw TOR remain strong and TOR Rewritten slowly die out.
I joined the masses and stopped playing the LOTR mod entirely the TOR Rewritten discord died for months. After months of having nothing to do with LOTR, I began talking to Will and brought up the idea of starting up the server again we were both eager to play the mod we had enjoyed so much so we began talking to Asher which is when he informed us that the hosting site had been hacked and those responsible were demanding a ransom for our files, Asher became busy with life and due to this crazy event, responses became slower and our hopes of returning to LOTR died out.
Two weeks ago I opened a server with Will called the Three Rings and it was rough, we copied most of TOR Rewritten which in itself was a copy of TOR, while I told Will I wanted to avoid copying TOR and just wanted to have fun I didn’t check to see if my hopes of originality were being fulfilled as I focused on config I spoke ignorantly to Mido about our server, it wasn’t until I checked the rules and the discord myself that I realized how unoriginal we had become this whole time I've been in the wrong and I truly am sorry, I've rendered myself blind to the true cause of all my efforts to make servers and return to LOTR. It wasn’t to play a mod I liked it was because I was chasing the fun I had on TOR the same fun I threw away. For so long I was too proud to admit how much I missed TOR this is made blatantly obvious in my last appeal, in my last appeal I make no attempt to come clean, to be honest, to admit I was wrong, it was all a nonchalant and arrogant attempt at getting a free pass. I've come to regret so much of what I chose to do and I can’t make any excuses for it I’m truly embarrassed by my past actions and I expect no one to believe that I’ve “changed”. I hope I’m able to return to TOR and rebuild ties. I selfishly ask for another chance, a chance to come back and have fun.
The reason I think I should be unbanned is because I know things are different now, I can vow if I do return, my time on TOR will not resemble what it has ever been. I will delve back into the enjoyment of TOR and its community and swear off any drama and dishonesty. I wish to apply the growth I’ve experienced over the past year and become a player that brings good to TOR. I believe I should be unbanned because I am certain that I will never come close to making the same mistakes again.
I dmed Mido two hours ago at the time of writing this copy and I am aware that this makes my appeal seem rushed however I’ve been thinking about how to apologize and come clean about all of this for months now. I found this appeal incredibly easy to write as I’m no longer portraying a character I'm just expressing what I know to be true. Thank you so much to whoever takes the time to read this in full or in part I wish you all the best, I’ll leave my new discord right below, if anyone has any questions feel free to shoot me a DM I will answer as soon as I can.